MONDAY 7:10 a.m. I only snooze once. Somehow make it out of bed. But then go back and this Grindr guy who’s been talking to me forever messages. We never meet up. Just talk. At one point the illusion that we would have sex was there. But now that’s gone too. And we won’t ever be friends in person. Neither of us will say this. But we know it. So we just keep talking and getting personal and the stakes are low and high at the same time. High in the sense that we tell each other things we wouldn’t tell other people. Or is that low? God this is so fucking depressing. Being a human being is humiliating. I need to write and shut up.
paused my entire morning to read this at my coffee shop. “before death, there is always time to get it together.” - that felt fucking spiritual (and timely) to read. also, can confirm as a virgo we care about our lovers’ orgasms. <3
And I love reading about these dialogues you have with these "randos" on the dating apps.... I have done that with people on the FB dating app....I will get into these conversations and they may get well not as intimate because I am old (LMAO)(but I will bleed my heart out) but then something happens, usually me, because I'm not serious anyway about meeting anyone and then BLOCK...
Keep writing you are so inspiring and validating 🙏🏻
Nov 7, 2022·edited Nov 7, 2022Liked by Alex Dimitrov
Enjoying reading about your world which is so different than my own.
“ I keep putting off doing the things I really want to do (write for Hollywood, dye my hair purple, play tennis consistently). Why? What’s the point? We’re all going to die soon.”
Spoke to me. I think many of us feel this duality of thought “must do!/what’s the point”
“Does anyone want to go to Italian classes. I really want to learn another language and watch an Antonioni film without subtitles.” -- I got an Italian boyfriend and suddenly was fluent 😊 highly recommend
two things: (1) thank you for writing these, I'm loving them. (2) turn the duvet cover inside out, tie it into place, reach thru the opening and grab the two far corners; pull them thru the opening and shake the whole thing into place but watch out for overhead fixtures. especially the dangerous chandelier
I don’t know if this is causation or correlation, but I was reading this when I tipped over my beautiful ceramic cafetière that I’ve had for seventeen years. I bought it in a small shop in northern England. It was red. It cracked on my counter and broke spilling the coffee and grounds all over. I spent forty five minutes cleaning it up. And keeping my dog out of the kitchen so he didn’t drink all the coffee and turn into a shitting machine. It made me sad. But then I decided to channel you and buy a really expensive new one. So, I guess I’ve made this about me. Which is what a person does maybe? Also. New York is exhausting and beautiful and filthy and smelly and it still has magic in it despite being old and well trodden.
please keep writing these I feel seen
Blue heart emoji
paused my entire morning to read this at my coffee shop. “before death, there is always time to get it together.” - that felt fucking spiritual (and timely) to read. also, can confirm as a virgo we care about our lovers’ orgasms. <3
I live for this.
I love this window into your life.
And I love reading about these dialogues you have with these "randos" on the dating apps.... I have done that with people on the FB dating app....I will get into these conversations and they may get well not as intimate because I am old (LMAO)(but I will bleed my heart out) but then something happens, usually me, because I'm not serious anyway about meeting anyone and then BLOCK...
Keep writing you are so inspiring and validating 🙏🏻
Enjoying reading about your world which is so different than my own.
“ I keep putting off doing the things I really want to do (write for Hollywood, dye my hair purple, play tennis consistently). Why? What’s the point? We’re all going to die soon.”
Spoke to me. I think many of us feel this duality of thought “must do!/what’s the point”
“Does anyone want to go to Italian classes. I really want to learn another language and watch an Antonioni film without subtitles.” -- I got an Italian boyfriend and suddenly was fluent 😊 highly recommend
two things: (1) thank you for writing these, I'm loving them. (2) turn the duvet cover inside out, tie it into place, reach thru the opening and grab the two far corners; pull them thru the opening and shake the whole thing into place but watch out for overhead fixtures. especially the dangerous chandelier
Not sure why I have a hard time being loved either.
Live for these diary entries!
Sending love from Montana.
I don’t know if this is causation or correlation, but I was reading this when I tipped over my beautiful ceramic cafetière that I’ve had for seventeen years. I bought it in a small shop in northern England. It was red. It cracked on my counter and broke spilling the coffee and grounds all over. I spent forty five minutes cleaning it up. And keeping my dog out of the kitchen so he didn’t drink all the coffee and turn into a shitting machine. It made me sad. But then I decided to channel you and buy a really expensive new one. So, I guess I’ve made this about me. Which is what a person does maybe? Also. New York is exhausting and beautiful and filthy and smelly and it still has magic in it despite being old and well trodden.