The voice note is not a reading of the poem but a note on process, the past year, the poetry world, & two books I love & have been writing: Ecstasy & Fantasy.
One Last Fantasy
It was the year I burned everything down.
You have a fantasy, one of my friends said,
of setting it all on fire when love doesn’t work out.
I bleached my hair. I drank only Sancerre
and Fleuries. If someone gave me a pill
I took it. If I had keys on me, you could
probably still lick the blow off the ridge.
You’ve been in Paris for months, the same friend said.
I never left my apartment.
If it wasn’t to go to La Perle, Silencio,
Little Red Door or wherever my new
Australian straight boy wanted to go.
It was like I disappeared. But all the facts
of my life were still there. And all
the real people who loved me
and all the people on the internet
who said anything they could
to ruin what they thought was
some kind of prince. Some kind of
invincible pleasure. I wish. I was there.
I ruined it myself. Then I put it together.
I am obsessed with your voice, love the concept behind this book, and feel inspired by you talking about how you are finally giving yourself empathy. Can't wait for more reveals from this upcoming work.