NYC Diary #23
MONDAY
6:52 a.m. I go for a run in Central Park. The sun is rising. I decide that if the next book I write is Light, the constraint will be that every poem is written between 6 and 8 in the mornings.
9:31 a.m. I think about Gianni Versace and Warhol a lot. Warhol is an August Leo. Versace is a Sagittarius with a Pisces moon like me. Loved Miami. Like me. Was very outlandish (sort of like me—but I want to get on his level, honestly—he lived so large in spirit). I’ll never forget when my psychoanalyst friend said, you’re living at 60% right now. Imagine you at something close to 100.
I think I’m asking the universe for too little. Two of my Leo friends keep saying make a list. Be very specific. Tell the world what you want.
In a man? Ok.
6 foot or higher lol
Loves his job / not miserable (a doctor over a lawyer any day — an artist is tough because they always end up fucking you over but…idk, I’m kind of open)
Kind
Successful
Warm and optimistic
Handsome & everyone wants to fuck him but doesn’t get to
Can handle my highs and lows and realizes I need more of the something in between
Respects my writing life and deeply cares about it
Uplifts me
Takes me on a lot of vacations and romantic dates
Just overall has big dick energy and is a fucking man
Both my Leo girlfriends would say you need to get even more specific even down to the eye color. It’s like ok sweetie I will write that list in private somewhere. But it’s gotta be written down by hand they said. And out of my head.
Me:
10:09 a.m. The Catholicism in Warhol’s late 80s work is something I am very drawn to. Aside from his entire career and story.
2:02 p.m. This short essay in Time by Madonna (another Leo) on her friendship with Versace is so good. I’m thinking about all these people I admire today. And how they all just made art and alternative families and alternative lives. I’ve always known that would be me but it is so lonely. Sometimes.
11:40 p.m. Madonna at Madison Square Garden. What is there to say. The ultimate survivor. There’s nothing hotter than that.
Actually there is. Doing it in style and with a large spirit.